I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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