Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
