Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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