ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
