Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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