i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
