I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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