there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
