It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
