im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
