I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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