honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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