what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
