Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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