Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
