wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
