i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
