I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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