walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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