I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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