I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
