they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
