can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize