Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
