I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
