I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
