Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
