I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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