Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
