I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
