maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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