So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
