the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
