if you like me you must not know who I am
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
