I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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