He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
