The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize