So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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