So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
