I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
