you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
