she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
