Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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