Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
