We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
