Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
