it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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