i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
