I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
