why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize