Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think I sprained my soul last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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