I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My feet surprised me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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