where am i from again
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize