You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
