I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
