I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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