Mattress luging...It's a long story.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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