im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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