apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
