she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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