i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
