we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
