If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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